What do the scholars and muftis of the noble Shari’ah say regarding the following matter; what is the legal ruling regarding a woman kissing her son-in-law on the forehead or cheek? What is the ruling regarding her touching his hair, like it is commonplace in our community?
Questioner: A brother from the UK
بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الجواب بعون الملک الوھاب اللھم ھدایۃ الحق والصواب
If a woman kisses her son-in-law on his forehead or cheek out of lustful desire, then musaharah (marriage forbiddance) will be established. His wife will be forbidden upon him forever. If it is not done out of lustful desire, forbiddance will not be established.
It is stated in Bahar-e Shari’at: “If the woman, out of lustful desire, touches or kisses the man, or sees his genitalia, then marriage forbiddance will be established.” (Bahar-e Shari’at, vol. 2, part 7, pg. 24)
The same ruling applies to a woman touching her son-in-law’s hair out of lustful desire, i.e. marriage forbiddance will be established.
It is stated in Bahar-e Shari’at: “Forbiddance is established even by touching the hair.” (Bahar-e Shari’at, vol. 2, part 7, pg. 23)
The indication of lustful desire in a man is the erection of his penis. If it was already erect, then further erection is an indication of the presence of lustful desire. In women, it is indicated by movement of the vagina.
It is stated in Durr al-mukhtar:
وَحَدُّهَا فِيهِمَا تَحَرُّكُ آلَتِهِ أَوْ زِيَادَتُهُ بِهِ يُفْتَى وَفِي امْرَأَةٍ وَنَحْوِ شَيْخٍ كَبِيرٍ تَحَرَّكَ قُبُلُهُ أَوْ زِيَادَتُهُ
Translation: “The limit of lustful desire is erection of the penis or further erection (if it was already erect). Verdict is passed on this basis. In a woman or an old man, the movement or enlargement of the anterior private organ (indicates lustful desire).” (Durr al-mukhtar, vol. 3, pg. 33)
There are extremely rare instances of a woman kissing her son-in-law. Thus, this verdict is not to be applied to everyone. In any case, scholars must be approached. It is suggested that a woman must not kiss her son-in-law even without lustful desire as it is better for both.
واللہ تعالی اعلم ورسولہ اعلم صلی اللہ علیہ وآلہ وسلم
کتبہ ابو الحسن محمد قاسم ضیاء قادری
Answered by Mufti Qasim Zia al-Qadri
Translated by the SeekersPath team
Read the original answer in Urdu here – [Q-ID0409] Can a woman kiss her son-in-law on the forehead or cheek?