What do the scholars of the Din and muftis of the Sacred Law state regarding the following issue: My wife does not allow me to have sexual relations with her. She says that she is suffering from vaginismus, a condition which makes sexual intercourse impossible or extremely painful for the woman. I do not want to divorce her and separate the two families. As a man I have desires which I cannot fulfill elsewhere as it would be haram [prohibited]. My wife asks me to leave her and marry someone else. What should I do in this situation?
Questioner: Sister from UK
بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الجواب بعون الملک الوھاب اللھم ھدایۃ الحق والصواب
The illness must be treated as vaginismus is a psychological condition and is very uncommon. Its cure is possible. The treatment involves removing fear from the woman. A certain famous physician says that he was visited by a couple who did not have sexual relations since seven years. If treatment is not possible, Islam permits you to marry another woman by also keeping your first wife. It is mentioned in the Holy Qur’an:
فَانْکِحُوۡا مَا طَابَ لَکُمۡ مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ مَثْنٰی وَثُلٰثَ وَرُبٰعَ ۚ فَاِنْ خِفْتُمْ اَلَّا تَعْدِلُوۡا فَوٰحِدَۃً
“…then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one…” [Surah al-Nisa: 3]
It is better if the second marriage is with the consent of the first wife. It is also permissible, without any karahah [dislike], to divorce the first wife because the purpose of marriage is not being fulfilled. Due to this reason, the divorce will not be without any cause. It is mentioned in Bahar-e Shari’at, “It is permissible to give talaq [divorce]. However, if it is without any shar’i [legal] reason, it is disallowed. If it is given due to a shar’i reason, it is permissible.
[Bahar-e Shari’at, vol. 2, part 8, pg. 110]
واللہ تعالی اعلم ورسولہ اعلم صلی اللہ علیہ وآلہ وسلم
کتبہ ابو الحسن محمد قاسم ضیاء قادری
Answered by Mufti Qasim Zia al-Qadri
Translated by the SeekersPath team
Read the original answer in Urdu here – [Q-ID0384] What should a Husband do if his Wife is suffering from vaginismus?