My parents want me to get married and have sought some really good rishtay (proposals) within the family but I don’t feel right about marrying someone from the family.
Is there any Islamic evidence that supports marriage within the family? What qualities should I be looking for in my any potential wife?
Marrying within one’s family is something which a person should not feel uneasy with. We know Sayyiduna RasulAllah (صلى الله عليه وآله وصحبه وسلم) gave his blessed daughter Sayyidah Fatimah (رضي الله عنها) in marriage to his blessed cousin, the son of his uncle Abu Talib, namely Sayyiduna Ali ibn Abi Talib (رضي الله عنه).
Piety is the primary quality one should seek in a prospective partner as mentioned in numerous ahadith. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وصحبه وسلم) said:
“The world is a provision and the best provision of the world is a pious wife.”
[Sahih Muslim, hadith 1467]
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وصحبه وسلم) also said:
“A woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her Deen and you should give preference to the one with Deen.”
[Sahih al-Bukhari, hadith 5090]
The illustrious student of Ala Hazrat Imam Ahmad Rida Khan (رحمة الله عليه), Imam Amjad Ali al-A’zhami (رحمة الله عليه) states in Bahare Shari’at:
“The woman, with respect to age, family status, wealth and honour should be less than the man and in character, manners, piety and beauty she should be more.”
The Imam then relates that it is mentioned in hadith that:
“Whosoever married a woman for her honour Allah will increase him in his lowliness and whosoever married a woman because of her wealth Allah will increase him in his neediness and whosoever married her because of her family status Allah will increase him in inferiority and one who married so that his eyes do not wander and that he attain chastity or that he join ties of kinship then Allah will give that man blessing in his wife and give that woman blessing in her husband.”
[Al-Tabarani as mentioned in Fathul Qadir]
[Bahare Shari’at Vol 2 pg 6]
One should offer salatul istikharah and consult his parents in such important affairs.
Allah knows best.
Answered by Ustadh Ibrar Shafi