What do the scholars of the Din and muftis of the Sacred Law state regarding the following issue: My parents are forcing me to marry a certain girl, but I don’t wish to marry her. What are my rights in Islām regarding this? (Please can you mention them)

Questioner: Brother from Luton


بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الجواب بعون الملک الوھاب اللھم ھدایۃ الحق والصواب

You have every right to refuse in a well-mannered method, and this is not regarded as disobeying one’s parents.[1] This is because Islām has given a non-mature male the right for him to marry whomsoever he wishes. Just as Allāh Almighty addresses males in the Qur’ān, stating that,

{فَانْکِحُوۡا مَا طَابَ لَکُمۡ مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ}

{Marry the women who please you}

[Sūrah al-Nisā’, 3]

However, the content of Allāh Almighty is in the happiness of parents; they would never wish anything ill for their children. Thus, in order to seek their goodwill, one should marry according to their consent.

Just as the Noble Messenger of Allāh ﷺ states,

“رِضَى الرَّبِّ فِي رِضَى الوَالِدِ، وَسَخَطُ الرَّبِّ فِي سَخَطِ الْوَالِدِ”

“The Lord’s ﷻ content is in the parent’s pleasure, and the Lord’s ﷻ wrath is in the parent’s anger.”

[Sunan al-Tirmidhī, vol 3, pg 360, Hadīth no 1907]

It is stated in another Hadīth that the Holy Prophet ﷺ stated,

“ھُمَا جنّتُکَ ونارُکَ”

“They [i.e. your mother & father] are your Paradise and your Hell.”

[Sunan Ibn Mājah, vol 4, pg 186, Hadīth no 3662]

However, parents should not push their children into forced marriages, rather they should take the feelings, wishes and desires of their children into consideration, and go ahead by seeking their advice, otherwise it would just result in havoc & chaos. In addition, this is oppressing not only the man, it is in fact also oppressing the woman, who, having moved into a new home, results in having to cope with the oppression from such husband.

[1] If any parent orders their child to do anything against Sharī’ah, they are not obliged to listen to them. In fact, it is essential that they do not act upon what they say, however this does not mean that it is permitted to be rude to them; one must always portray good character and a gentle nature with one’s parents.

واللہ تعالی اعلم ورسولہ اعلم صلی اللہ علیہ وآلہ وسلم
کتبہ ابو الحسن محمد قاسم ضیاء قادری

Answered by Mufti Qasim Zia al-Qadri
Translated by Haider Ali

Read the original Urdu answer here: [Q-ID0737] Can I refuse my parents if they are forcing me to marry someone against my wishes?

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