Can disagreements in issues like Khatams be considered minor when thinking of marriage? I have had a proposal, whose family members are Sunni but he himself is learning about Islam and has a lot of doubts on the authenticity of reading Qur’an for those that have passed away, questioning whether the reward actually reaches that person. However he has agreed to disagree and will not force his opinions on me.
Disagreeing with the Ahlus Sunnah in certain principles after they have been made aware is problematic. The person in question if he has genuine doubts should refer to the Ulama to remove such opinions and should not be considered for marriage until that is done and there is satisfaction of his reform, but if the matter is that he is associated with deviant groups then such opinions are just the stench that radiates from such Aqeedah and therefore he should not be considered at all.
Ibn Jubayr (رضي الله عنه) narrates that a relative of Abdullah ibn Mugaffal threw a stone, he reprimanded him by saying, indeed the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وصحبه وسلم), had forbade the throwing of stones, he replied that a stone does not kill a prey nor an enemy but rather breaks a tooth or gauges an eye. Abdullah ibn Mugaffal then said I mentioned to you a Hadith of the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وآله وصحبه وسلم) in which he forbade this act yet you continue to throw. I shall never speak to you again.
Imam Nawawi (رحمة الله عليه) in his commentary to this Hadith states that this establishes the distancing of oneself from the people of bid’ah (innovation), those who openly transgress the Shari’ah and those who leave or disregard the Sunnah knowingly. As for the people of bid’ah and their like they should be avoided and broken ties with forever.
The prohibition of breaking ties beyond three days refers not to these people but to those with whom ties have been broken over worldly or personal matters.
[Shar Sahih Muslim of Imam Nawawi 5028]
Allah knows best.
Answered by Shaykh Naveed Jameel ash-Shaami