I’m married to a man who doesn’t believe in celebrating the mawlid of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), he thinks we shouldn’t over praise the Prophet and he has a lot of Wahabi viewpoints. I’m finding it very hard to truly love him, majority of his immediate family don’t practise Islam either.
He listens to lectures of Wahabi scholars and says he doesn’t want to belong to a sect. According to him we are all Muslim therefore we should not divide ourselves into sects because at the time of Prophet there was no division. I’m trying really hard to do my duties as a wife but I’m finding it very difficult and am falling into depression. I just wish we would share the same Islamic beliefs. My dad tells me to not worry, and told me to concentrate on myself and let my husband does as he wishes but I find this advice too difficult to act upon because I don’t want my child to follow the ideology of my husband. Please advise me on this matter.
It is very unfortunate that your husband carries this way of thinking. You have mentioned that his family is not practising so these influences seem external to his family and you have mentioned he listens to a certain group of speakers on the internet also.
He seems unaware of the ahadīth of the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ that foretell of the division of the ummah and the emergence of various sects. Something which is a reality that no intelligent person can deny:
وَإِنَّ بني إسرائيل تَفَرَّقَتْ عَلَى ثِنْتَيْنِ وَسَبْعِينَ مِلَّةً، وَتَفْتَرِقُ أُمَّتِي عَلَى ثَلَاثٍ وَسَبْعِينَ مِلَّةً، كُلُّهُمْ فِي النَّارِ إِلَّا مِلَّةً وَاحِدَةً»، قَالُوا: وَمَنْ هِيَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ؟ قَالَ: «مَا أَنَا عَلَيْهِ وَأَصْحَابِي»:
«هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حسن» سنن الترمذي
In the hadīth of the sunan of al-Imām al-Tirmidhī it is related that the Prophet ﷺ stated:
“And my ummah will separate into 73 sects, all of them in the fire except one group.” The companions asked what is that group O Messenger of Allāh ﷺ He ﷺ said: “That which I and my companions are upon.”
One of the ways by which you could help him is to try and introduce him to speakers who represent Ahl al-Sunnah carefully selecting clips and videos that speak about issues that would not be seen to be confrontational/controversial to expand his source of Islamic Knowledge so that a path is created towards Sunni sources of knowledge. The Prophetic Way YouTube channel as an example contains many short and long clips on a variety of topics by Sunni scholars. ( www.youtube.com/thePropheticWay )
If he reads perhaps even introduce books into your home on various subjects that are written by Sunni authors also. You should try and surround him to the best of your ability with opportunities to encounter the Sunni narrative from Sunni sources.
You also mentioned your father seems disinterested, but is there anyone else in your immediate family that is aware and shares the same worries? Perhaps if a few people work collectively to try and steer him towards Sunni sources of information. Is there anyone who is a practising Sunni in his immediate family? That may be another aid in bringing this about.
Profuse supplication in the court of Allāh is essential. It is Allāh that guides a person, we can only make good intentions and make effort praying that Allāh guides the person to the truth.
You mentioned your child. The early Islamic education of your child will be very important. You need to ensure he has Sunni teachers in a good Sunni institute. Again Sunni literature for your child will be important and having connection with children from families that are also strong in their adherence to Sunni Islam.
May Allāh grant us guidance and preserve our imān and protect us from deviating influences.
Allāh Knows Best.
Answered by Mawlana Ibrar Shafi